"Black Swan"
Three stars


By Gary Buiso

“Black Swan” is a dreamy psychological thriller with a jagged edge, a backstage melodrama that’s also a mediation on paranoia and perfection.

Natalie Portman plays Nina, a virginal ballerina who has been cast as the lead in a new version of “Swan Lake,” filling the shoes vacated by a suddenly spurned prima ballerina played by Winona Ryder.  

Nina flourishes when she has to dance the part of the innocent White Swan, but struggles when she has to become the Black Swan, the sensual, darker side of the role.

She’s prodded to feel more by her despotic, lusty director (Vincent Cassel), and badgered by her domineering mother (Barbara Hershey), a former ballerina. It’s no wonder the poor girl is beginning to see things. And when a sexy rival (Mila Kunis) joins the company, Nina’s hallucinations escalate, and she suspects a plot to unseat her as lead. 

Director and Brooklyn-native Darren Aronofsky renders the story with an elegant mix of handheld and traditional shots — his signature touch. He extracts everything from his cast, particularly Portman, who is courageous and transformative.

The script does not hold up as well, as it is bulky at times, like a bull in a ballet. 

“Black Swan” is not revelatory, but its moments of terror and beauty are stunning nonetheless.


"Black Swan." 108 minutes. Rated R for strong sexual content, disturbing violent images, 
language and some drug use.  With Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, Wynona Ryder, and Barbara Hershey.

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'Monsters' a beautiful mess

“Monsters”

Two stars

By Gary Buiso

Love can be like dyspepsia, rearing its head when — and where — you least expect it.

Such is the case in “Monsters,” a small-budget sci-fi road drama where romance sprouts amid the backdrop of an extra-terrestrial invasion.

The film takes place in 2015, after a space probe unwittingly brings back alien spores which “infect” northern Mexico with extra terrestrials who look like a cross between the ship from “War of the Worlds,” the creature from “Cloverfield,” and a squid. 

A wall protects America from an alien invasion, but the creatures have already turned half of Mexico into an “infected zone,” and it is here that jaded photographer Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy) and rich girl Sam Wynden (Whitney Able) find themselves stranded. Kaulder’s boss — Sam’s father — orders him to safeguard his precious cargo back to the States. 

On their journey, the pair see the creatures for what they are, and learn that folks down in Mexico are actually more concerned with the fighter jets that are bombing the hell out of their country than the machinations of the amphibious alien invaders. 

The film, the debut by British writer-director Gareth Edwards, is a low-budget affair, which doesn’t necessarily detract from the special effects, which blend seamlessly — and in at least in one scene, quite beautifully — with the rest of the action. 

Shot in a variety of locations in Central America, Edwards used non-professional actors to fill the bulk of his cast, who are far more compelling than the tritely rendered, two-dimensional protagonists.

The script is largely improvised, and that’s a problem, as the two main characters oscillate between cliche and preachy idealism. 

“Monsters” has a message, but it gets lost by its messengers. 

“Monsters.” Rated R for language. 94 minutes. With Whitney Able and Scoot McNairy.

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Skip 'Skyline'

“Skyline”

Two stars

By Thomas Tracy

Zombies aren’t the only ones trying to corner the market on human brains.

So are the cerebellum-chewing aliens in “Skyline,” an otherwise brainless B movie that’s briefly booted up to an A-minus thanks to its special effects, which are surprisingly impressive.

Yet, even the eye-popping array of spaceships and goo-drooling aliens get quickly overshadowed by the pedantic script and atrocious acting that only B-movie legend Ed Wood would stand up and applaud for.

Known better for their visual effects than directing chops, Colin and Greg Strause (the same team who gave us the almost unwatchable “Alien vs. Predator: Requiem”) try to weave a compelling tale about a group of people stuck in a Los Angeles high rise when aliens attack, but forgot to stitch in a little something called tension — the element that kept us on the edge of our seats during both “Cloverfield” and “Independence Day.”

Ironically, the Brothers Strause — as they like to be called — try to mesh both of these movies together in “Skyline,” but all we end up getting are poor knock-offs of the beginning of “Cloverfield” and the ending of “Independence Day” — literally.

After spending the night partying at a friend’s penthouse, Brooklynites Jarrod (Eric Balfour, pictured, “24”) and Elaine (newcomer Scottie Thompson) are woken up by a creepy blue light that draws people to it like a human bug zapper.

But the blue lights were just a prelude to invasion. With ships that sideline as Hoover vacuum cleaners, an unknown alien fleet has come looking to suck up every human in sight.

Jarrod, Elaine and an assortment of indistinguishable survivors watch it all from their lofty tower thanks to a high powered telescope connected to a flat screen television — for a good chunk of the movie we’re actually watching them watching the invasion on television.

Predictably, they try to escape the building, but end up scrambling back inside when they come across alien scanner ships and the aliens themselves, which at times seem bigger than the ships that brought them here.

But no one knows just why they’re here. The people Jarrod and Elaine meet during their escape attempts are no help since they’re either killed or sucked up into an alien ship within moments of introducing themselves.

We later get the idea that the alien invaders — for some inexplicable reason — are fueled by human brain matter, but that’s just as ridiculous as...well, any zombie movie you might watch.

The Brothers Strause do a yeoman’s job of distracting us away from the poor plot with dazzling array of special effect, but in the end we’ve seen them all before in better movies like “District 9” and “War of the Worlds,” both the Tom Cruise 2005 version and the original made in 1953 — long before one could create a brain-sucking alien on a MacBook Pro.

“Skyline.” Starring Eric Balfour and Scottie Thompson. Directed by the Brothers Strause. Running time: 92 minutes. Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence, some language, and brief sexual content. Playing in Brooklyn at Access Digital Theatres - Pavilion Cinema in Park Slope, UA Court Street Stadium 12 in Downtown, UA Sheepshead Bay 14, Bay Ridge Alpine Cinemas, and Linden Boulevard Multiplex Cinemas in East New York.

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Little laughs during this 'Date'

“Due Date”

One and 1/2 stars

By Thomas Tracy

Though “Due Date” is essentially a fusion of “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” and “Tommyboy,” both fairly entertaining films of the road trip genre, its laughs are few.

That’s because the flick often misses the tone set by those who had already mapped out this comedy vein, especially when odd couple Robert Downey Jr. (“Iron Man”) and Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover”) are thrown into situations that are more painful than laugh out loud funny.

Following the rules of the road trip comedy to the letter, the four screenwriters (count em’ — four!) behind this hum drum dramedy make sure that Downey’s dour Peter Highman can’t stand Galifianakis’s Ethan Tremblay when the imbecilic pot smoker causes a stir at the airport and gets them both put on a no-fly list.

But Peter has to hit the road, and fast — his wife is about to give birth to their first child in L.A. 

Kicked from his flight without his wallet — which makes absolutely no sense since an Air Marshal would probably want to see the ID of the person he’s pulled off a plane — Peter can’t rent a car or buy a bus ticket, so he grudgingly accepts a ride with Ethan, his self-pleasuring bulldog and the ashes of his late father.

The rest of the movie is predictable — the two go through a series of hare-brained adventures as they travel through the Southwest. But instead of evoking belly laughs, these asphalt pratfalls bring forth only a few chuckles at best.

But it’s not for a lack of trying: Downey tries to make his stuffy straight man more interesting by throwing in a few deep-seeded anger issues that often get him in trouble.

Galifianakis tries to make his character adoringly stupid, but after about an hour, you really just begin to wonder if Ethan is mentally ill.

Supporting actors Julliette Lewis (“Whip It”) and Jamie Foxx (“Ray”) try to kick the idling film into high gear, but they’re not in it long enough to make a lasting impact on the long, unimpressive road ahead.

“Due Date.” Starring Robert Downey Jr. and Zack Galifianakis. Directed by Todd Phillips. Running time: 100 minutes. Rated R for language, drug use and sexual content. Playing in Brooklyn at Access Digital Theatres - Pavilion Cinema in Park Slope, Cobble Hill Cinemas, UA Court Street Stadium 12 in Downtown, Kent Theatre in Coney Island, UA Sheepshead Bay 14, Bay Ridge Alpine Cinemas, and Linden Boulevard Multiplex Cinemas in East New York.

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One pretty dull 'Saw'

“Saw 3D”

One and one half stars

By Gary Buiso

“Saw 3D” is the latest from a once-sharp franchise that has grown progressively duller with each new entry.

Beginning with a non-sequitur of an opening scene — think Home Depot holiday window from hell — the film devolves into a maze of diabolical set pieces whose function has more to do with cinematic narcissism than plot. 

Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), the moral mastermind behind the mayhem, is long gone, but disciple Lt. Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) has been continuing his mission, this time targeting his mentor’s widow, Jill (Betsy Russell). 

The two know each other—she gave him a taste of his own medicine in the last installment.

Meanwhile, Bobby (Sean Patrick Flannery), one of Jigsaws “survivors,” is a self-help guru who has a book tour that is about to get interrupted by a bit more genuine source material. 

Director Kevin Greutert (“Saw VI”) fails to bring any humanity to the script, or life out of his characters—whose performances range from stilted to subpar. 

Watching it all in three dimensions is quite literally a visceral experience, but will likely be appreciated by only the most diehard fans.

“Saw 3D” is rightly the final chapter. Any cultural relevance this franchise once had has been bled dry. 

“Saw 3D.” Rated R for sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture, and language. With Costas Mandylor, Sean Patrick Flannery, Betsy Russell, Cary Elwes, Tobin Bell. Playing in Brooklyn at Access Digital Theatres - Pavilion Cinema in Park Slope, UA Court Street Stadium 12 Downtown, UA Sheepshead Bay 14, Bay Ridge Alpine Cinemas, and Linden Boulevard Multiplex Cinemas in East New York.

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Minimalist, low-budget terror

“Paranormal Activity 2”

Two and a half stars

By Gary Buiso

Waiting is the hardest — and creepiest — part in “Paranormal Activity 2,” a prequel that mostly succeeds by following the same minimalistic formula of its low-budget forebear.

Kitchen cabinets, a pool filter and other mundane objects turn malevolent when a demon of a house guest moves in with Kristi (Sprague Grayden), her husband, Daniel (Brian Boland), teenage daughter, Ali (Molly Ephraim), baby Hunter, and German shepherd.

The dog is the first to sense that something stinks in suburbia, but the humans catch on, eventually. 

When the family returns from a barbecue, their place has been ransacked, but nothing is stolen, save for a necklace. Video cameras are installed, but the inexplicable continues to persist. 

The family nanny tries to rid the house of evil spirits — she speaks Spanish, and burns sage while cradling the baby — but this only gets her axed, professionally speaking, as Daniel is the last to admit that there may be a problemo. “Maybe it’s set to high or something,” he says about the pool filter, which seems to have a mind of its own.

Performances feel organic, but there is little chemistry between husband and wife. Besides the demon behind the curtain, German shepherd, Abby, is the real show stopper.

Director Tod Williams (“The Adventures of Sebastian Cole”) deliberately builds terror for the first hour, lingering on shots long enough to make them unsettling. Ironically, the film loses a bit of steam once it becomes more frenetic.

The first film’s demon-plagued couple, Micah (Micah Sloat) and Katie (Katie Featherston) make an appearance in the prequel, which cleverly explains their fate — and sets the stage for another installment.

“Paranormal Activity” is the anti-”Saw,” — and it’s building a franchise.

“Paranormal Activity 2.” Rated R for language and brief violent material. Running time: 91 minutes. With Sprague Grayden, Brian Boland, Molly Ephraim, Micah Sloat and Katie Featherston. Playing in Brooklyn at the Access Digital Theatres - Pavilion Cinema in Park Slope, UA Court Street Stadium 12 in Downtown, Kent Theatre in Coney Island, UA Sheepshead Bay 14, and Bay Ridge Alpine Cinemas.

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We're too tired of this sh--!

Boring.

“Red”

One and a half stars

By Thomas Tracy

There’s a reason why there are very few adventure films for the over 65 set. 

To do it right, the action and the comedy have to in perfect synch so one doesn’t overshadow the other. Then you should throw in a pinch of romance and a dash of “We’re NOT too old for this sh--!” haughtiness for good measure.

“Red,” which is apparently code for “Retired, Extremely Dangerous,” has all of these elements, but director Robert Schwentke (“The Time Traveler’s Wife”) decide to muck everything up when he substituted plot and character development with mindless gunfights and massive explosions that everyone — no matter how old — has seen before.

Based on a DC graphic novel, “Red” follows the absolutely boring life of Frank Moses (Bruce Willis, “Cop Out”), a former CIA operative who’s having a hard time surviving retirement — although it’s a bit of a stretch to think that the 55-year-old Willis has reached his golden years.

Without a gun and a government sanctioned covert mission to occupy his time, Moses’ top priorities include keeping up with the neighbors and finding reasons to talk to Sarah (the poorly used Mary Louise-Parker, “Weeds”), the woman who mails out his retirement checks.

Moses is quickly forced back into the life of covert espionage when — surprise, surprise — someone puts a contract out on his life, as well as those of fellow CIA retirees played by Morgan Freeman (“Invictus”), John Malkovich (“Secretariat”) and Helen Mirren (“The Queen”).

All of them were apparently part of an off-the-books operation in South America back in the 1980s that someone wants to erase from history, although that part of the story isn’t fleshed out enough for the viewer to really sink his teeth into.

Instead, we watch Moses and crew unlock the cache of weapons they apparently saved for a rainy day (hey, who doesn’t retire without stealing a few office supplies?) and exact some good old fashioned vengeance upon whoever gets in their way.

Just for fun (it has to be, since no legitimate reasonable explanation isn’t given) Moses decides to kidnap Sarah and take her along for the ride.

Yet this ride will be short-lived for many movie-goers; the thrill of watching the matronly Mirren put a cap in somebody’s ass wanes long before the film does.

“Red.” Starring Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren. Directed by Robert Schwentke. Running time: 111 minutes. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action violence and brief strong language. Playing in Brooklyn at Access Digital Theatres - Pavilion Cinema in Park Slope, UA Court Street Stadium 12 in Downtown, Kent Theatre in Coney Island, UA Sheepshead Bay 14, and Bay Ridge Alpine Cinemas.

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Movie review: Woody's done better

Naomi Watts and Josh Brolin

“You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.”

Two stars

By Gary Buiso

Nihilism is rendered into a detached and only occasionally humorous tale that is Woody Allen’s latest, “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.”

Set in London, the film follows two couples at varying stages of marital and ontological collapse — fertile comedic territory that Allen has made a brilliant career out of farming. 

Helena’s (Gemma Jones) husband, Alfie (Anthony Hopkins), faces his own mortality and doesn’t like what he sees. Who does? Alfie leaves his devoted bride to explore his options, namely, a call girl named Charmaine (Lucy Punch). Helena naturally seeks counsel and consolation from a psychic.

Meanwhile, things are going south for Helena’s daughter Sally (Naomi Watts) and her son-in-law Roy (Josh Brolin). Roy was a one-hit wonder who can’t manage to support the family, and instead spends much of his time peeping his sexy neighbor, Dia (Freida Pinto). Watts is no innocent, crushing hard for her also unhappily married boss, Greg (Antonio Banderas).

The characters have a lot to say, but still seem thinly crafted and joyless. Punch and Jones standout, as does Hopkins, who mingles hope with sad desperation.

To be sure, the film shows signs of the “old” Allen — a Midwood-born gag writer who is not as smart as people think he is. A mix-up has left Roy praying his writer-friend won’t recover from a coma; It seems Helena’s new beau ditches her for another woman — who happens to be dead. 

Thematically, the film is reminiscent of an old Allen quote: “Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.” 

“You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger” is certainly not horrible, nor is it miserable. It just could gave been better. 

“You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.” Rated R for language. 98 minutes. With Gemma Jones, Naomi Watts, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Josh Brolin and Pauline Collins. Opening in Brooklyn this friday at Cobble Hill Cinemas.

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Geek is good

“The Social Network”

Three and 1/2 stars

By Thomas Tracy

With its over-caffeinated pacing and whip-smart script, a Harvard computer geek becomes the equivalent of a rock god in “The Social Network” — and, just like with Jim Morrison, OJ Simpson, and Mel Gibson, the viewing public is left glued to the screen waiting for the impending fall from grace.

It takes a truly gifted screenwriter and director to turn a relatively boring tale like the creation of Facebook — even with all its sexy allegations of intellectual property theft — into something the average viewer would care about, and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin and director David Fincher succeed brilliantly by bringing us into the kinetic catastrophe known as the mind of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg, “Zombieland”).

After about five minutes in his shoes, it doesn’t seem that far-fetched that he created Facebook (first known as The Facebook) just to stick it to the girl who broke up with him.

The rest, as they say, is history. Once The Facebook becomes a Harvard sensation, classmates Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss (Arnie Hammer and Josh Pence) claim Zuckerberg stole the idea from them.

Zuckerberg ignores the allegations, as well as pleas from his chief investor Eduardo Saverin (played by the new Spider-Man Andrew Garfield) to have the site begin to generate money for the Harvard underclassman.

He’ll only listen to fellow genius and kindred spirit Sean Parker, the founder of Napster (playled by Justin Timberlake, the only guy who can make an arrogant geek look cool).

Before long, The Facebook becomes Facebook, and millions are logging on.

In turn, Zuckerberg is making billions — and everybody’s suing him. 

In a masterful stroke, Fincher lets a usually dry legal deposition drive the story, letting us delve further into the psyche of Zuckerberg — the social misfit we all expected him to be.

Yet in Eisenberg’s brilliant depiction, the cantankerous computer genius somehow rises above it all by understanding exactly what everyone is desperate for — a connection.

His insightfulness is so innocent and, dare we say, pure, that we almost want to look Zuckerberg up on Facebook and friend him ourselves.

“The Social Network.” Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake. Directed by David Fincher. Running time 120 minutes. Rated PG-13 for sexual content, drug and alcohol use and language. Playing in Brooklyn at Access Digital Theatres - Pavilion Cinema in Park Slope, BAM Rose Cinemas in Fort Greene, Cobble Hill Cinemas, UA Court Street Stadium 12 in Downtown, UA Sheepshead Bay 14, Bay Ridge Alpine Cinemas, Linden Boulevard Multiplex Cinemas in East New York. 

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It's kind of not really a funny story

“It’s Kind of a Funny Story”

One and one half stars

By Gary Buiso

“It’s Kind of a Funny Story” is a breezy look at teen angst that does for mental illness what “Birth of a Nation” did for race relations.

The film, written and directed by Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden (“Half Nelson”), is based on a young adult novel by Park Slope-native Ned Vizzini — so a heavy-handed treatment of the plot might not exactly be appropriate.

But the story transcends pandering: the feather-light touch the material receives is downright anachronistic in its understanding and depiction of mental illness, resulting in a weird, unintentionally funny backdrop to the main plot — a trite presentation of a self-absorbed teen.

Keir Gilchrist plays suicidal Craig Gilner, a solidly middle class chap stressed out by the usual troubles of a youth of his standing: applying to an elite summer school program, girl troubles, and spaced out parents (played by Lauren Graham and Jim Gaffigan). 

Instead of jumping off a bridge, he checks himself into a psych ward, where he meets wacky patients such as clinically depressed Bobby (Zach Galifianakis), and a seemingly comatose Egyptian roommate who refuses to get out of bed — until he is stirred by the power of music!

Of course, there’s love to be found between the bedpans, inspiration mixed in with the monoamine oxidase inhibitors. 

Craig falls head over heels for fellow-patient Noelle (Emma Roberts), who seems perfectly well-adjusted, save for the light scratch on her forearm and cheek.

Performances are solid across the board, if periodically saccharine and lacking any chemistry. The writer/directors are happy to cut gravitas out of the equation, and instead are content to leave the audience to founder in the happy world of the psych ward, where dreams really do come true. 

In that sense, “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” is laughable.

“It’s Kind of a Funny Story.” Rated PG-13 for mature thematic issues, sexual content, drug material and language. 101 minutes. With Zach Galifianakis, Keir Gilchrist, Lauren Graham, Jim Gaffigan, Emma Roberts, Zoë Kravitz and Jeremy Davies.

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Thug with a heart of gold

“The Town”

Three and a half stars

By Thomas Tracy

You’ll never empathize with a hardened bank robber more than you will in “The Town,” thanks to Ben Affleck.

A true Hollywood triple threat, actor, writer and director Affleck (“Hollywoodland”) assured himself a spot on more than one list of Academy Award nominations this year with his simple story about a thief looking for a simpler life that grabs your throat and tugs at your heart strings at the same time.

It also made this reviewer nostalgic for the Park Slope of the late 1980s, when it was still a mostly blue collar neighborhood facing gentrification.

In “The Town,” Boston’s Charlestown is in the same predicament: the hard-working “Townies” are fighting off an influx of “Toonies” (their version of Yuppie), but more and more of their native sons are being re-located to prison.

Charlestown, it turns out, is mostly made up of generational criminals, where children end up committing the same sins their parents did decades ago.

Affleck’s Doug MacRay is no different: he’s a bank robber just like his dear old dad, but he’s looking for a way out.

That chance comes when the loose cannon of his robbery crew (a superb Jeremy Renner, “The Hurt Locker”) decides to kidnap a teller during their latest heist as added insurance.

Predictably, MacRay falls for the raven-haired beauty (Rebecca Hall, “Please Give”), which sparks his journey away from the life of thugs, guns, and greasy-haired, drug-addled harlots (epitomized by a strung-out Blake Lively, “Gossip Girl”) to a more law-abiding future.

But that’s where the predictions end.

Slamming on the gas pedal with both feet, Affleck steers you through a number of twists and turns — not including the ones in a nail-biting chase scene through the skinny streets of south Boston — until you’re actually praying MacRay makes it out alive.

Through it all, Affleck’s stamp is on everything, right down to the despondent yet heartfelt personal confessions that were also found in “Good Will Hunting,” which earned Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting.

Affleck also does a masterful job in making sure his supporting cast brings their A game to the set. Through it all, Renner’s unhinged, tough guy antagonist is just barely keeping his murderous rage in check while Pete Postlethwaite (“Inception”) is exceptionally evil as the Irish mob boss who wants to keep MacRay’s crew in check.

“The Town.” Starring Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner and Rebecca Hall. Directed and co-written by Ben Affleck. Running time: 123 minutes. Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, some sexuality and drug use. Playing in Brooklyn at Access Digital Theatres - Pavilion Cinema in Park Slope, BAM Rose Cinemas in Fort Greene, Cobble Hill Cinemas, UA Court Street Stadium 12 in Downtown, UA Sheepshead Bay 14, Bay Ridge Alpine Cinemas, and Linden Boulevard Multiplex Cinemas in East New York.

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