Storybook Burlesque brings your Cinderella like you've never seen it before

By Meredith Deliso

This ain’t your Disneyfied version of Grimm’s fairy tales.

Storybook Burlesque is adding some pasties and overt sex appeal to the same old “Cinderella” and “Sleeping Beauty” in a new show inspired by the brothers’ dark tales.

“We like to see how far we can take something and still make it recognizable and entertaining,” said troupe member Victoria Privates. “Storybrook Burlesque to me means being able to interpret one piece of literature in a wide variety of ways. And we always like being a little cheeky.”

For her, that means a “straight up classical burlesque” take on the lesser-known story, “The Moon.”

“It’s just sparkling and pretty, like the moon,” said Privates.

Other stories getting a sensual spin include “The Frog Prince,” “Rumpelstiltskin,” “Cinderella,” and “Sleeping Beauty.” Host Cyndi Freeman, aka Cherry Pitz (pictured), will also dress up like a sexy fairy godmother.

It should go without saying, but this fairy tale adaptation is not for kids.

Storybook Burlesque presents “Grimm’s Fairy Tales” at the Coney Island Sideshow Theatre [1208 Surf Ave. at W. 12th Street in Coney Island, (718) 372-5159], July 21 at 9 pm. Tickets $12 at the door. For info, visit www.storybookburlesque.com.


Photo by Stefano Giovannini

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Pole dancing competition coming to Galapagos

By Meredith Deliso

A pole is a terrible thing to waste.

That’s what the organizers behind Polesque, a new pole-dancing competition, realized after they had one custom-built for Galapagos Art Space last year for a one-off variety show.

The resulting semi-regular show is not just about woman writhing on a shiny metal pole (though there’s plenty of that, too).

“We really created Polesque so pole dancers can have an opportunity to showcase this as a performance art,” said Kyra Johanssen, a professional pole dancer who formed the event with enthusiasts Kyle Mcbeth and Jen James. “Right now, big pole competitions are all about tricks, tricks, tricks. Polesque is about creative movement and entertaining the audience.”

Indeed, past winning performances include a piece to Leonard Cohen’s “I’m Your Man,” where the dancer sported a Groucho Marx mask and used a cane “pretty suggestively,” said Mcbeth.

The next competition is on May 22, and will pit 16 performers, with burlesque acts mixed in. The top three finalists then do a free-style performance, with the audience picking a winner.

“It’s all based on who gets the most people jumping up and down,” said Mcbeth. “We’re not looking for the most athletic or best trick person out there. It’s more if they can put on a crazy show.”

“Polesque” at Galapagos Art Space [16 Main St. at Water Street in DUMBO, (718) 222-8500], May 22 at 8 pm. Tickets $30 ($20 in advance). For info, visit www.galapagosartspace.com.

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It's all in the family at Burlesque at the Beach

By Meredith Deliso

Burlesque at the Beach is back. And this time, it’s all about the family.

On May 6, the randy season kicks off with “Family Night,” featuring the “sexiest Sicilians and the mafiosas with the most,” said Nasty Canasta of Sweet and Nasty Burlesque.

Canasta will be joined by criminal cutie Ruby Valentine, “The Alabaster Beauty” (pictured), who most likely will bring her killer nunchucks striptease act, inspired by the film “Black Dynamite,” as well as Sapphire Jones, Cheeky Lane, Hard Corey and Killer Puttanesca as they tease and titillate at this burlesque family affair.

“After all, as a loose consortium of legitimate business people, do we not have the right to celebrate our professional associations with the removal of clothing in a highly enjoyable public manner, accompanied by the twirling of tassels and the occasional bump or grind?” asked Canasta.

The answer, of course, is yes. Yes, they do.

“Family Night” at Burlesque at the Beach [1208 Surf Ave. at W. 12th Street in Coney Island, (718) 372-5159], May 6 at 10 pm. Tickets $15. For info, visit www.sweetandnastyburlesque.com.

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Babes and bikes

By Meredith Deliso

This burlesque show really shifts gears.

“Bikes, Brews and Burlesque” is a new monthly show at Legion Bar in Williamsburg that conveniently combines three of our favorite things.

Heather Loop, aka Ms. Spoke, started “bikelesque” — burlesque performed with a bicycle, natch — as a way to reclaim her femininity.

“As a bike messenger, I am restricted in how feminine I can be — I can’t really wear make-up, high heels, pencil skirts, or do my hair super fancy,” said the Bushwick-based performer. “So I took my bicycle and started doing burlesque with it and took back my femininity!”

That may mean wearing a costume made out of bike tubes, using homemade bicycle wheel fans — a spin on the traditional feather fans — doing tricks on a kid’s bike and, one of her favorites, performing a playful skit where she “learns” how to ride a bike — her custom-made Squarebilt track frame — and gets some help from the audience in the process.

At the next show tomorrow, Loop will be joined by Frida Schwinn and Lucille Ti Amore for some cheeky bikelesque. Just leave your camshaft at the door.

“Bikes, Brews and Burlesque” at Legion Bar [790 Metropolitan Ave. at Humboldt Street in Williamsburg, 718) 387-3797], April 7 at 10 pm. $5.

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Oh, doctor! Seuss get sexy!

By Meredith Deliso

If you don’t want your childhood corrupted, stop reading now.

Otherwise, Galapagos Art Space has a show for you!

The ladies behind Storybook Burlesque, which creates sexy shows out of the most sacred of texts (the Bible, anyone?) turn their sights toward Dr. Seuss, with a whimsical show at the DUMBO space tonight.

“Because we usually do literary themes, we keep an ongoing list of fun ideas we’d like to explore, and this one was definitely on our list,” said producer Magdalena Fox (pictured). “We thought it would turn into a really fun, playful show.”

Fox will don the iconic striped hat — as well as some tight black Spandex — to bring “The Cat and the Hat” to life. Though by the end, she’ll have transformed into a purring kitty kat.

Other familiar tales getting turned into risque numbers include “One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish,” “The Lorax,” “If I Ran the Circus,” “Green Eggs and Ham,” “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T,” and “Sneetches,” as they’ll be told through aerial tricks, silks and raunchy moves.

Fox and company expect to ruffle a few feathers with this gleeful corruption of children’s classics, and that’s all part of the fun.

“Some people always get upset, it’s just how it works,” said Fox. “I’m sure some people will say we ruined their childhood, but it comes with the territory.”

“Storybook Burlesque presents: The Books of Dr. Seuss” at Galapagos Art Space [16 Main St. at Water Street in DUMBO, (718) 222-8500], Feb. 10 at 8 pm. Tickets $15. For info, visit www.storybookburlesque.com.

Photo by Stefano Giovannini

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A cabaret with heart

Pasties and glitter and drag, oh my!

Expect all three — and more titillating fun — in Conatus Productions’ “Friends of Dorothy,” a “Wizard of Oz”-inspired cabaret at Galapagos Art Space in DUMBO from Jan. 6 to 8.

This makeover of L. Frank Baum’s classic, a hit at the last Fringe Festival, may be campy, but it still follows the famous Dorothy, though the tornado transports her from Kansas to the land of Bras, where she and The Cowardly Pussy, a rapping Tin Man and aerialist Scarecrow, battle the Wicked Bitch of the West to prevent her treasured Ruby Red pasties from falling into the wrong hands.

Along the way, there’s some eye-popping burlesque, drag, aerial, magic and circus performances by the likes of Rita MenWeep, Sizzle Dizzle and Jenny C’est Quoi. Toto, in this scenario, takes the form of a cherished iPod that holds songs by the 1970s pop band Toto.

No, you’re not in Kansas any more.

“Friends of Dorothy: An Oz Cabaret” at Galapagos Art Space [16 Main St. at Water Street in DUMBO, (718) 222-8500], Jan. 6 at 9 pm and Jan. 7 and 8 at 8 pm. Tickets $20. For info, visit www.galapagosartspace.com.

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The nerds get nude at 'Nerdlesque' show on Saturday night

By Michelle Manetti

“Star Trek” never looked so good.

In “Nerdlesque,” a geeky burlesque show at the Brick Theater in Williamsburg on Dec. 11, notions of sexiness will get turned on their head.

Producer Chris Chappell, a self-identified nerd, got the idea for the four-eyed striptease after noticing a change in how nerds were being viewed culturally. 

“There’s been a thing over the last 15-20 years of ‘the nerd’ being defined as the unsexy outsider,” said Chappell, who defines “nerd spirit” as an obsessive but sincere interest in something unusual. “But if you look at bands like Weezer and the popularity of video games, you see nerds have penetrated our culture.”

The only place left to infiltrate, it seemed, was burlesque, and in “Nerdlesque,” men will strip down to their boxers and women will twirl in pasties with themes including “Star Trek” and “Where’s Waldo?”

Even if you don’t know your Wookies from your Klingons, the show offers something for everyone, said Chappell.

“There are a few references that might go over people’s heads, but the performers are really full of enthusiasm,” said Chappell. “And if nothing else, it’s attractive people taking their clothes off.”

And what nerd doesn’t love that?

“Nerdlesque” at the Brick Theater [575 Metropolitan Ave. between Union Avenue and Lorimer Street in Williamsburg, (718) 907-6189], Dec. 11 at 11 pm. Tickets $10. For info, visit www.bricktheater.com/nerdlesque.

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Dueling burlesque

We've got two great burlesque shows for you this Saturday, depending on what you're in the mood for.


First, Wasabassco Burlesque (above) celebrates six years of stripping with an anniversary bash at the Bell Housel. There's more than just burlesque on the menu - in addition to performances from the likes of GiGi LaFemme and Nasty Canasta, there'll be bullwhipping cowboys, go-go and belly dancing, snake charming, trick-roping, crooning, hula-hooping, aerial acrobatics, a 20-person sci-fi number, and numerous large-scale theatrics. Whew!


Over in Red Hook, Red Burlesque returns to Sugar Lounge for a night of risque, as well as risky, routines, as the main attraction is sure to be Justina Flash, who dances with a flaming hula hoop. 


Choose wisely!

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They're animals

By Alex Rush

The circus and communist Russia never had much in common, but House of Yes is looking to change all that.

Starting on Oct. 1, the Bushwick art space will present “Circus of Circus,” a burlesque-style adaptation of George Orwell’s 1946 classic literary satire of the Russian Revolution, “Animal Farm.” 

Instead of Orwell’s radicalized farm-working beasts, “Circus of Circus” will feature performers who rebel against their ringmaster. But the actors in the show aren’t just pretending to be circus folk — they’ll showcase their actual trapeze, fire-breathing, contortion skills.

“The show is very tongue and cheek,” said Kae Burke, who co-runs the House of Yes art space and wrote “Circus of Circus.” “And all the characters are directly based on the characters from ‘Animal Farm.’ ”

That means there’ll be a version of Napoleon, the corrupt pig who is depicted in this adaptation as a clown. Boxer, the brawny workhorse, is a muscular acrobat.

Orwell wrote “Animal Farm” to express his disillusionment with Soviet communism under Stalin. Burke’s work, on the other hand, wasn’t the least bit politically motivated. She was just inspired to find that so many characters in the novella reminded her of her friends.

“I’ve been writing this show in my head for more than three years,” said Burke, who also is a circus performer. “The book just had so many characters to explore.”

“Circus of Circus” at House of Yes (342 Maujer St. between Morgan Avenue and Waterbury Street in Bushwick, no phone), Oct. 1-2, 7-9, 14-16. Tickets $20, $30 for VIP. For info, visit www.circusofcircus.com.

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Shakespeare stripped down

Summer has always been a ripe time for productions of Shakespeare’s wildly popular “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” often as a light breeze suitable for children.

Finally, the bard’s comedic classic is being reinterpreted at Galapagos Art Space — so you can forget about bringing along the kids.

Tomorrow, Storybook Burlesque presents a stripped-down version — literally — at the DUMBO space with “A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Play Within a Play Within a Burlesque Show.”

“We knew we wanted to do a Shakespeare show at some point, so ‘Midsummer’ was the perfect fit,” said South Slope resident Rosey la Rouge, the show’s producer. “We tell the story of the play through dance and minimal text for a performance that is more thought-provoking and visually spectacular and less about the striptease — though striptease is definitely involved.” (Get a taste of their last show here, in this Time Out New York spread.)

Yes, you can expect the traditional story of the four Athenian lovers, who, along with a troupe of silly, amateur actors, are manipulated by fairies into falling in love to near disastrous effects. But this production also adds a “punk rock” aesthetic.

“There is a hard, modern edge to this show and the design concepts behind it,” said la Rouge.

With that, the music will switch from Led Zeppelin to Lady Gaga, and the performers’ costumes will range from period derivations to modern emo teen fare. That is, of course, when they are wearing any costumes at all.

“A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Play Within a Play Within a Burlesque Show” at Galapagos Art Space [16 Main St. at Water Street in DUMBO, (718) 222-8500], July 29, 8 pm. Tickets $10 in advance ($15 at the door). For info, visit www.storybookburlesque.com.

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A 'Diamond'-studded night of burlesque

Neil Diamond still inspires women to take off their clothes.

On May 27, Brooklyn’s native son is honored through one of the best ways possible — burlesque — in the show “The Jazz Stripper” at Coney Island’s Burlesque at the Beach.

“What better way to celebrate Coney Island than with a show combining two of my deepest and most abiding loves — burlesque and Neil Diamond?” said host and producer Nasty Canasta, who’s had a lifelong appreciation of the man known as “The Jewish Elvis.” “After all, we were both born right here in Brooklyn — and we were both naked at the time!”

The Coney Island extravaganza premiered in Williamsburg in February, 2009; this rare repeat performance will feature old favorites, new surprises, the return of the “Neil Or No Neil” trivia contest, and a special finale tribute to the Lounge Dylan.

Also expect a Diamond-studded night of tassel-twirling tributes to the singer-songwriter, with performances by host Canasta, plus the macabre Creamy Stevens, the exotic Gal Friday, and the quirky Sapphire Jones. From the male front, Bastard Keith and Tigger will be supplying some entertaining boylesque.

The night will be sure to make you a believer.

“The Jazz Stripper” at Burlesque at the Beach [1208 Surf Ave. at W. 12th Street in Coney Island, (718) 372-5159], May 27 at 9 pm. Tickets $10. For info, visit www.SweetAndNastyBurlesque.com.

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This bad idea sounds pretty damn sexy

Jonny Porkpie has a bad idea.

In a venue that already pushes the limits, the unofficial burlesque mayor of New York City is encouraging his burlesque beauties to do absolutely anything they want.

The show — “Bad Ideas” — comes to Coney Island’s Burlesque at the Beach this Thursday, with some of the best in the business bringing new cards to the stage.

There’ll be heartbreaker BB Heart; the vivacious Jo Boobs; Legs Malone, the girl with the 34-and-a-half-inch inseam; and Peekaboo Point (pictured), the fastest tassel-twirler from East to West.

“The first act will be a glorious showcase of the wonders of the modern burlesque, filled with beautiful women performing the brilliant acts which best exemplify their skill, humor and sexiness,” said Porkpie.

During the second act, the ladies will be given free reign, challenged by ringmaster Porkpie to bring to life their most-outrageous ideas.

“It will be a fantastic freakin’ trainwreck,” said Porkpie.

This bad idea just might turn out to be pretty great.

Jonny Porkpie’s Bad Ideas at Coney Island USA [1208 Surf Ave. at W. 12th Street in Coney Island], May 20 at 9 pm. Tickets $10. For info, visit www.jonnyporkpie.com.

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Come together! New show units the Beatles and burlesque

Fans of the Beatles and burlesque — this is your ticket to ride.

Inspired by David Bowie glam rock tributes, a new show in Williamsburg is all about the Fab Four — and the teasing performance art known as burlesque.

The two, according to the show’s creator, Calamity Chang, are a natural fit.

“The Beatles were transgressors in a time of political unrest much like now,” said Chang, aka “Yoko Chang,” who hosts the monthly show at Public Assembly, next up on May 10. “Through burlesque, which is a transgressive art form in itself, it seemed like the perfect event that can reach more than just an insular community.”

John, Paul, Ringo and George are channeled by the tribute band Ticket to Ride, who back up the performers as they strip and sing along to songs pulled from the Beatles’ extensive canon, such as the raunchy “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?”

A natural fit, indeed.

Beatles Burlesque at Public Assembly [70 N. Sixth St. between Wythe and Kent avenues in Williamsburg, (718) 384-4586], May 10 at 9 pm. Tickets $10. For info, visit www.beatlesburlesque.com.

Photo by Melody Mudd

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Eight nights of Hanukkah fun

Among the overtures to Santa and sleigh bells this holiday season can also be found events worshipping the dreidel and the menorah.

Here’s a look at some of Brooklyn’s Hanukkah-themed offerings this month.

Spin the Dreidel Tournament

Saturday, December 12
Knitting Factory (361 Metropolitan Ave.)
7 p.m.
$10

Hanukkah’s gone metal at the Williamsburg venue, when it hosts its 2009 Major League Dreidel competition, with some tunes from Gods of Fire and Category SIXX: The World’s Greatest Air Band. Sign up to play here, and be sure to come up with an extra clever name to distinguish yourself from the pack (i.e. Dr. Dreidel, Spinderella). And remember: no gelt, no glory.

Menorah Horah

Saturday, December 12
Southpaw (125 Fifth Ave.)
8 p.m.
$12 in advance, $16 day of show

Heat up your holidays with Hanukkah’s hottest Hebrew hotties, the Schlep Sisters. Celebrating the second night of Hanukkah burlesque-style, the duo – Minnie Tonka and Darlinda Just Darlinda – bring in some friends, including Sapphire Jones and Saci Calla Horra, for some fun until the candles burn out. Also with music from DJ Aaroneous and klezmer-gypsy-punk band Golem.


Matisyahu’s Festival of Lights

December 16, 17, 19, and 20
Music Hall of Williamsburg (66 N. 6th St.)
All shows 8 p.m.
All tickets $35

You know it’s Hanukkah when Matisyahu is back in town. After four nights at Webster Hall, the Brooklyn-based musician’s fourth annual, eight-night “Festival of Lights” comes to the borough December 16, with opener Rana (followed by Kid Koala on December 17, Travis McCoy on December 19, and Kevin Devine on December 20). Fans can except to hear songs off his new album “Light.”


Sephardic Music Festival

Each year, the Sephardic Music Festival aims to increase interest in and awareness of Sephardic cultures, including Mizrahi, Yemenite, and Ladino traditions by showcasing the latest Sephardic musical talents from all over the world. This year’s festival isn’t any different. Running from December 12-19, it has two special showcases in Brooklyn: Asefa, Michelle Webb, and special guest Darshan Monday, December 14 at Union Hall (702 Union St, 7 p.m., $10) and Pharaoh’s Daughter and Brooklyn-based act DeLeon Wednesday, December 16 at Knitting Factory (361 Metropolitan Ave., 8 p.m., $12-$15).


—Meredith Deliso

Photo by Ted D'Ottavio

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See, shop and make this holiday season

By Meredith Deliso

Sure, you can go see the Rockettes or get a photo in front of the tree at Rockefeller Center. But this December, Brooklyn has lots to offer on the holiday front, from a unicycling Santa to a gingerbread house workshop.

Check out our guide for performances not to be missed, holiday markets to find cool duds for your friends and family, and workshops to make some gifts yourself (and don't miss our family guide to holiday events happening in your neighborhood).

SEE

Radio City may have a flying Santa and sleigh, but Brooklyn has ice-skating in mid-air and a burlesque Secret Santa show. These holiday spectaculars and parties are not to be missed.

The 12 Acts of Christmas
Saturday, December 19-Sunday, December 20
Galapagos Art Space (16 Main St.)8 p.m. Dec. 19/3 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Dec. 20
$20 ($15 for children and seniors)

The 12 Acts of Christmas, from the aerial theater troupe Suspended Cirque, quite literally takes holiday traditions to new heights. This fanciful new holiday show features ice maidens on a triangle trapeze, a ribbon dancing Nutcracker, ice-skating in mid-air, a live musical rendition of “Sleigh Ride” like you’ve never heard before, a drunken Sugar Plum, and even Santa on a unicycle. You’ll have to see it to believe it.

The Desk Set’s Biblioball
Friday, December 11
The Bell House (149 7th St.)
8 p.m. to 4 a.m.
$20 in advance/$25 at the door; includes one raffle ticket

Chances are you’re not having an office party this year. Celebrate then with the bibliophiles of the Desk Set at their Biblioball, a winter formal fancy pants dance party and fundraiser (all proceeds go to Literacy for Incarcerated Teens, which provides books and programming to incarcerated and court-involved youth). So get dolled up (or not – it’s not strictly black tie) and party with a purpose. Featuring emcees Sarah Simms and Robert Sullivan, with music from The Hungry March Band, Nine 11 Thesaurus, Living Days (picture), The Lucky Chops Brass Brand, and many, many DJs.

Snow White
Saturday, December 12-Sunday, January 17
Company XIV (303 Bond St.)
All shows at 3 p.m.

Brooklyn-based theater-dance troupe Company XIV, known for their scintillating productions, bring family-friendly fare to the borough this season with their holiday show “Snow White” (alongside revivals of their adult shows “Le Serpent Rouge” and “The Judgment of Paris”). The company’s version of the classic fairy tale features opera, dance, and puppetry. The baroque opera trio Charities also joins the cast, providing haunting and beautiful arias by Handel and Bellini as well as Yiddish folk songs and original compositions.

The Secret Santa Show
Thursday, December 21
Public Assembly (70 N. 6th St.)
10 p.m.
$10

For less wholesome fun, there’s Sweet and Nasty Burlesque’s Secret Santa Show, a holiday show with all the trimmings (or lack there of), with performances by local burlesque beauties Anita Cookie, Clams Casino, Gal Friday, and Gigi La Femme, as well as Doc Wasabassco himself. Acts will be assigned by picking names from a hat (just like a Secret Santa). “It’ll be just like those horrible office party Secret Santa things,” says host Nasty Canasta, “except instead of TGI Friday’s gift certificates, there’ll be gorgeous and talented women getting naked in some truly amazing ways.” Yep, definitely not like the usual office party.

SHOP

Beyond the usual suspects (Brooklyn Indie Market, Artists & Fleas, Brooklyn Flea), markets are popping up all over Brooklyn this winter, in time for the holiday shopping season. Here’s a look at some temporary newcomers coming up, and some new favorites:

The (Makers) Market
Sundays
(OA) Can Factory (232 3rd St.)
11 a.m.-6 p.m.
Free admission

More than 30 vendors bring you handmade jewelry, clothes, art, soaps and even violins every Sunday at this Gowanus market, which has a focus on art and design. Each week a different vendor even creates a product live, so you can see the process first hand.

The 2009 Handmade Holiday Craft Fair
Saturday, December 12
3rd Ward (195 Morgan Ave.)
Noon to 9 p.m.
Free admission

The Williamsburg space will host a market featuring goods and treats from over 50 local artisans, craft mavens and culinary masters, with wares including everything from LED Hula hoops and dog costumes, to custom cut clothes and jewelry, furniture and vintage ware, cookies and chocolates, wrapping paper, pillows and body soaps, custom electronics and more. There will also be live music, treats, drinks and workshops.

Lyceum Holiday Market
Saturday, December 19, and Sunday, December 20
Brooklyn Lyceum (Fourth Avenue at President Street)
11 a.m.-7 p.m.
Free admission

Vendors offer handcrafted merchandise to fit any budget, size and taste. Whether for Chanukah, Christmas or Kwanzaa, you can find it all at the Park Slope venue’s second annual holiday market.

NYC Punk and Underground Record Fair
Sunday, December 20Public Assembly (70 North 6th St.)
Noon to 10 p.m.
$7 admission

Check out vinyl for your music loving friend, and hear some bands, too, at this Williamsburg record fair. In the backroom will be Ashers (members of the Unseen), Ultra Violence, Word for Word, Roadrage, Sexual Suicide, and Nothing But Enemies, while 20 tables will hawk their punk, power pop, DIY, new wave, metal and indie music where you can buy, sell or trade.

Craft Bazaar
Sunday, December 20
Knitting Factory (361 Metropolitan Ave.)
10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Free admission

Patchwork Crafts and Designs Presents the first annual Craft Bazaar at the Williamsburg venue. Find all your last minute unique handmade holiday gifts here. Plus, table proceeds will benefit the BARC (Brooklyn Animal Resource Coalition) Shelter located in the neighborhood, so while helping yourself, you will also be helping our four-legged friends this holiday season as well.

MAKE

Brooklyn’s all about DIY, so do it yourself this holiday season and instead of buying clothes or cookies, make them yourself. These classes and events will only help inspire you.

Holiday Design-it-Yourself Clothes with Cal Patch
Thursday, December 10
Word (126 Franklin St.)
7:30 p.m.

In “Design-It-Yourself Clothes,” former Urban Outfitters designer Cal Patch brings her youthful aesthetic to a how-to book, which teaches the art of patternmaking in five key projects – a perfect-fitting dress, T-shirt, button-down shirt, A-line skirt, and pants. For this holiday-themed event at the Greenpoint book store, Patch will do a demo on how to take proper measurements — the first step in creating personalized gifts that fit perfectly.

Gingerbread Houses Workshop
Tuesday, December 15
Brooklyn Labs (100 Frost St.)
6:30 p.m.

Katie Robinson makes great cakes — she has worked at some of the top bakeries in New York, and has been featured on two Food Network Cake Challenges. Here, she’s teaching you how to make gingerbread houses. Everyone will get to build a house, and decorate it under Katie’s expert tutelage. This class is decidedly hands-on, so you can bring your houses home.

Holiday Cookies Workshop
Brooklyn Labs (100 Frost St.)
Saturday, December 12 11 a.m.-4 p.m.
$10

Nearly all day you can be baking and decorating cookies in their main kitchen, Lab #1, at this drop-in event. $10 gets you a baker’s dozen, and advice from their very own Lila Dobbs, who will be standing by to answer all your cookie-related queries, and offer holiday baking tips.

Brooklyn Cookie Takedown
Sunday, December 20
The Bell House (149 7th St.)
6:30 p.m.
$10

More than 30 different cookie recipes are expected at this Brooklyn bake-off, brought to you by the same people behind the Chili Takedown. For $10, try all the cookies and vote for the best, as well as gain some inspiration along the way from the amateur chefs for your own holiday batch. Or, enter yourself by e-mailing mtimms7@hotmail.com and show off your own inspired creation.

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Have yourself a Bavarian Christmas

Get in the holiday spirit early this year with a Bavarian-themed burlesque Christmas party at the Bell House.

The Gowanus venue brings in the Oktoburlesk Players for this night of polka, courtesy of none other than Grammy-nominated polka sensation Alex Meixner, with the ladies of Wasabassco Burlesque providing the skin as they take on the classic Christmas show genre.

In keeping with the theme, competitive cook-off pros Theo Peck and Nick Suarez will be on hand supplying their pork belly bratwurst.

It all happens December 1 at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell House (149 7th St.). Tickets are $10. For more information, call 718-643-6510.

Get a polka preview in advance of the show here, with Meixner and his band playing "Hoe Down" at last year's Wurstfest in New Braunfels, TX.:

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Shake, shimmy and shine: NY Burlesque Festival returns

By Meredith Deliso

At this year’s New York Burlesque Festival, from October 1-4, you may come for the scintillating entertainment, but leave ready to put on your own show.

Through hair and makeup stations, pasties for sale, and classes, you’ll have all the basics to get in the act yourself.

With dozens of burlesque pros strutting their stuff over the course of four nights, you can also learn by watching the pros themselves. And with half the festivities happening in Brooklyn, you won’t have to go very far.

On October 1, the festival throws a teaser party at Williamsburg’s Public Assembly (70 North 6th St.), hosted by The World Famous BOB from New York City, featuring music from the Two Man Gentleman Band, and performances from over a dozen ladies, including Miss Bonnie DUNN, The Incredible Edible Akynos, The Maine Attraction, and Miss Saturn, all of New York, as well as out-of-towners like Trixie Little (Baltimore) and Miss Cara Milk (Vancouver). The night will also feature Dr. Sketchys, where you can try your hand at drawing burlesque beauty Amber Ray.

The Gowanus-based venue The Bell House (149 7th St.) hosts the premiere party on October 2, hosted by Scotty the Blue Bunny and featuring local favorites Gigi La Femme, aerialist Harvest Moon, and, among many others, Little Brooklyn.

“It’s an homage to the infamous legend of Little Egypt, the scandalous ‘hoochie-coochie’ girl of the Nile, as well as an obvious nod to my beloved hometown,” says the performer of her stage name. The Homecrest resident recently earned the title “Queen of Comedy” at this year’s Burlesque Hall of Fame Pageant in Las Vegas for an act she’ll be performing at the New York City festival. “I start out as a typical cartoon of a tourist who might have stumbled onto the stage by accident – a turn of events transforms the voyeuristic sightseer into the item on display.”

Other acts promise to be equally entertaining, including Dirty Martini, Jo Boobs, The Glamazons (from TV’s “America’s Got Talent”), Julie Atlas Muz, Melody Sweets, and Gravity Plays Favorites, on stage at B.B. King (237 W. 42nd St.) in Manhattan in at The Saturday Spectacular on October 3.

“They do an acrobatic pole dancing number, which is always a crowd favorite,” says Jen Gapay, a Kensington resident and the founder of the festival, now in its seventh year running, of Gravity. “[The festival’s] all really a variety – from circus performers to classic strip tease.”

The festival closes with a bang on Sunday, October 4, with The Golden Pastie Awards at Le Poisson Rouge (158 Bleecker St.) in Manhattan, where the performers are awarded for attributes such as “Biggest Hair in Burlesque” and “Performed with a Positively Perfect Posterior.”

If feeling courageous, that night, as well as Saturday, Jo Boob’s School of Burlesque will be offering classes so you can hone your skills, and every night will feature vendors, from Twirly Girl tee-shirts and pasties, corsets from Dragon Corsets, and free hairstyles and makeovers from Tease Salon.

“You can take a class, draw, and get your hair done!” says Gapay.

The New York Burlesque Festival is October 1-4. For more information, including tickets cost and times, go to www.thenewyorkburlesquefestival.com.

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Anarchy - rockabilly style!

Betty Bloomerz in action

Enjoy four nights of bumping & grinding & hootin' & hollerin'

By Meredith Deliso

Benjamin Wilson has always been inexplicably drawn to Coney Island.

“I think it’s always been in me. I’ve found different things in my life that I’ve identified with,” says Wilson, who grew up in New York outside the city and lives in Manhattan. “Growing up I lived down the street from an amusement park. I would go in the wintertime and run around playing hide and go seek.”

This summer, Wilson returns to the Boardwalk, producing the third annual Coney Island Rockabilly Festival, four nights of burlesque, sideshow acts, and rock and roll, from September 4-7.

“I’m more interested in bringing things that people identify with Coney Island in a way,” says Wilson, who will be performing on Friday, August 4, with his surf trash band, The Holy Roller Sideshow, along with burlesque acts on the bill at the Coney Island Sideshow. “If we can bring all these artists and musicians to Coney Island at this time, I think it will be beneficial.”

In addition to Wilson’s band, over 100 acts will converge on Coney this Labor Day weekend, including New York City-based psychobilly act The Memphis Morticians on Friday, September 4, at Cha Cha’s of Coney Island, on the Boardwalk between West 12th Street and Stillwell Avenue.

“We played last year and had a damn good time,” says the band, which expects to play some tracks off their newest EP “1,000 Delinquents.” “It’s a mixture of sleazy rock n’ roll, burlesque and Coney Island...What more could you ask for?”

Other highlights of the four-day festival include the 3rd Annual Big Burlesque Blow Out on Saturday, September 5, at Cha Cha’s, featuring dozens of burlesque acts including local performer Weirdee Girl, Missy Macabre of London, Claire De Lune of New Orleans, Lucy Buttons (NYC), Hula Hoop Harlot Melissa-Anne (NYC), and too many more to print.

Also don’t miss psychobilly act Sasquatch and the Sickabillys of Providence, RI, on Sunday, September 6, at Cha Cha’s, the 2009 Miss Pin Up Coney Island Contest on Monday, September 7, the highlight of which will certainly be Betty Bloomerz swallowing 28 inches of cold steel while in her underwear.

While this year’s festival is just gearing up, Wilson has his sights set on 2010, where he looks to make the weekend into an even bigger bonanza, complete with a hot rods show and a roller derby event. He also dreams of having an even more permanent presence in Coney Island, with a club that takes all of these elements and produces shows on a regular basis.

Until then, there’s four days of enough psychobilly and sideshow burlesque to keep you satisfied until next Labor Day weekend.

“When the curtain goes down at 3 in the morning and you sit back and have the first cold beer of the night, it’s just an amazing night,” says Wilson. “That’s why we do what we do. It’s not about the money. It’s about promoting artistry and promoting Coney Island, promoting things that we think are good things.”

The 2009 Rockabilly Festival is September 4-7 in Coney Island. Locations, times and ticket costs vary. For more information, including a complete schedule, go to www.mypsace.com/cockabillyrecordsnyc.

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Reclaiming the glory days of Coney

Harvest Moon

By Meredith Deliso

During the 1930s, Luna Park was one of the entertainment destinations in New York City.The amusement park, among three in Coney Island at the time, featured cutting-edge technology and swarming crowds, despite, or because of, the Great Depression.

Now, during another depression, one Brooklyn dancer is looking to bring back a little bit of that heyday to the borough.

“In the 1930s, Coney Island was really at its best,” says Harvest Moon, a Greenpoint-based burlesque performer and producer familiar at places like the Slipper Room in Manhattan and Dressler’s in Williamsburg. “In terms of technology, it was really the height of any amusement park.”

In terms of entertainment, with the likes of Busby Berkeley and his legions of showgirls taking centerstage, that also provides a lot of inspiration to the choreographer in a somewhat parallel time.

“I want to bring this back,” says Moon. “That’s the great thing about history – history repeats itself. It’s not the worst it’s ever going to be, it’s not the best it’s ever going to be. You just have to get through it.”

You can relive a bit of the old Coney Island yourself in two nights this month – first at Williamsburg’s Monkey Town, with “Moonshine! A Variety Bonanza” on June 19, and then a slightly different show at Galapagos in DUMBO with “The Vaudevillionairs of Luna Park” on June 26.

“This is more than just burlesque, it’s aerial, it’s circus, it’s vaudeville,” says Moon of the two shows. “I want to get away from just having a girly show. I want to bring more variety to it.”

At Monkey Town’s tribute to 1930s Coney Island, the night will indeed feature acts from burlesque performers like Little Brooklyn, Ekatarina the Mermaid, Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey, and Mr. Fantastic, as well as Ukulele Louis, Barnacle Bill the Sailor, Maine!.

The following week at Galapagos, the tribute continues, with the same acts as Monkey Town, minus Mr. Fantastic, plus The Red Hook Ramblers, Miss Astrid, Diamond Redd, and The Merrymakers.

“It’s all people that I know and have worked with and admire,” says Moon. “I feel like it’s the crème de la crème.”

On both nights you can also find Harvest Moon performing her acrobatic, jaw-dropping moves.“I’ve got something up my sleeve,” promises the dancer.

At Galapagos in particular, Moon will have a custom-built birdcage, large enough to fit a person, and with an aerial hoop inside to allow for some tricks as well.

While the shows are one-night only, Moon hopes the ode to Coney Island will have some longevity to it.

“Hopefully some venue will pick it up and say, ‘This is the show that we’ve been waiting for.’ That’s my ultimate goal with this,” says Moon. “It’s not just for one night.”

“Moonshine! A Variety Bonanza” is June 19 at Monkey Town (58 N. 3rd St.), with shows at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Reservations are recommended. Tickets are $15. For more information, call 718-384-1369.

“The Vaudevillionairs of Luna Park” is will then be June 26 at Galapagos Art Space (16 Main St.) at 10 p.m. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 at the door. For more, call 718-222-8500.

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Save Coney Island

The rally cry goes on.

Tonight, The Bell House hosts Fight for Your Right to Coney!, a benefit for the People's Playground featuring the theatrical pirate rockers Jollyship the Whiz-Bang (pictured, photo credit: Dana Gramp), self-described as a "pyrate puppet rock opera constorium," as well as punk band Kissy Kamikaze, surf punk band Tyburn Saints, and an array of carnivalesque performers. Also that night, DJ Ole will be spinning.

Presented by boardwalk babe Lola Staar, the benefit proceeds go towards Save Coney Island, a grassroots organization committed to preserving the spirit of Coney Island and preserve historic structures and the amusement district.

Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 day of the show. $30 VIP admission includes a Save Coney Island tee shirt and gift bag. The Bell House is located at 149 7th St. For more information, go here.

On April 11, the call will be picked up by Southpaw, when the Park Slope venues hosts another Save Coney Island benefit, this year with performances by Gato Loco, 357 Lover, and Les Sans Cullotes, as well as a slew of burlesque beauties, including Nasty Canasta, Little Brooklyn, Miss Coney Island 2008 Gal Friday, Gigi La Femme, The World Famous Pontani Sisters and the "Burlesque Mayor of NYC" Jonny Porkpie, among other burlesque and sideshow acts.

The night will be hosted by The Great Fredini, Miss Astrid, and The World Famous Bob, as well as feature DJ's Huckwild, Fersh Prince of Darkness and Bill Coleman, raffles, prizes and drink specials.

Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 at the door, for the 8 p.m. show. Southpaw is located at 125 Fifth Avenue.

Photo: A burlesque performer hams it up at last year's Save Coney Island benefit at Southpaw.

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