Kitchen Klutz: The Klutz's last round

Photos by Ted Levin

By Michèle De Meglio

Round three of “The Iron Klutz” proved to be my toughest challenge yet.

“The Next Iron Chef” star Seamus Mullen took no prisoners as we made not one but two dishes from the tapas menu at his restaurant Boquieria.

Before a veggie ever hit a pot, Mullen tried to convince me to touch the bottom of a frying pan that had been preheating on Boqueria’s massive (and super hot!) stove. Seriously? You’re the star chef! Not me!

I balked, obviously, and Mullen eventually gave up. Phew.

Once the pan was coated with olive oil, it was time to add Brussels sprouts. I’m not the biggest fan of these green veggies but Mullen said they’d be combined with bacon. Woo-hoo!

The sprouts were cut in half so each was less than one inch thick. The way I’d do this is by holding the sprouts several inches from the pan and dropping them in. I bet I’d end up screaming when the oil splashed me but I don’t want to get too close to the scarily hot stove.

Unfortunately for me, Mullen wasn’t having any of my nonsense. He wanted me to use my hands to place the sprouts directly in the olive oil, which was now sizzling. Uh, do I have to?

After doing this himself – “I put my hand right in there. Don’t be scared,” he said – it was my turn.

I attempted to follow Mullen’s dangerous lead but my fear of the popping oil won out and I held the sprouts a bit too far for Mullen’s liking. On top of that, I’m slow.

“You gotta move faster. It’s gonna burn,” he said.

I dropped each sprout in quicker but that increased the likelihood of making a mistake. The sprouts were landing upside down! And Mullen expected me to use my fingers to turn them over – while they’re still in the pan!

“You gotta go fast but you can’t screw up,” he instructed.

I complained, “That’s hard.”

“No one said cooking was easy,” my mentor said.

This is like culinary boot camp!

Sadly, I was still a mess on our second dish, which was an egg-bacon-bread combo (yum!) made with quail eggs.

Cracking eggs is not my forte so you can imagine my fear when Mullen produced this weird contraption specially designed to open the itty-bitty quail eggs. Although it’s shaped like a scissor, one end of the tool’s blades has a metal circle to hold the egg, and the other is outfitted with a sharp triangle meant to poke the egg open.

Of course, Mullen cracked his egg easily. But I couldn’t even figure out which way to hold the device, let alone how to fit the egg in the circle. About 10 swipes of the triangle later, the egg hit the grill. I opted for an abstract shape for my egg instead of the traditional perfect circle. C’mon, I meant to do that.

Verdict: Everything tastes better with bacon. The quail eggs (the first of my life) were rich and flavorful when placed on top of a piece of chorizo and toasted baguette.

As for the much-maligned Brussels sprouts – they’re good! When you smother them in butter and bacon that is!

I must share Mullen’s recipe with my older brother. With some convincing, he got me to eat Brussels sprouts last weekend. Boiled then sautéed, those veggies were also tasty. Hey, I gotta give props. He’s family.

Now that my “Iron Klutz” adventures are complete, we will return to the culinary ineptness of “The Kitchen Klutz.” Stay tuned for next week’s special Halloween edition!

“The Next Iron Chef” airs on Sundays at 9 p.m. on the Food Network.

Kitchen Klutz follows 20-something Michèle De Meglio as she burns casseroles and her fingers, all in hope of trading frozen dinners for home cooking.


Fried quail egg on toast with chorizo
(Courtesy Seamus Mullen)

Ingredients
2 quail eggs, cracked
2 slices of dried chorizo
2 slices of baguette, toasted

Directions
In a nonstick pan over medium high heat, fry two quail eggs sunnyside up and two pieces of chorizo. Place the chorizo on the toast, top with the quail egg and enjoy!


Pan roasted Brussels sprouts with chorizo
(Courtesy Seamus Mullen)

Ingredients
2 cups of Brussels sprouts, cut in half
1/4 cup of diced spicy chorizo
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp butter
1 tsp minced chives
½ cup chicken stock
Pinch of salt

Directions
In a medium saucepan over high heat, heat up the olive oil and gently brown the Brussels sprouts, cut side down. After two minutes, add the chorizo and the chicken stock and cook until tender, about five minutes. Season with salt, lemon juice and pepper and enjoy.

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Kitchen Klutz: 'The Iron Klutz' Part Deux!

Photos by Ted Levin

By Michèle De Meglio

I’m cooking with a potential Iron Chef — and she’s going to make me eat beets! Ah!

In all of my 20-something years I’ve never tasted a beet. C’mon, aren’t they just one step away from Brussels sprouts on the icky veggie ladder?

Standing in the cozy kitchen of The Harrison, a Tribeca restaurant lucky enough to have “The Next Iron Chef” star Amanda Freitag as its executive chef, I tried to tame my nerves when Freitag told me I’d be making and eating bloody beets. By bloody, I mean they’ll stain your hands scarlet. Eww.

“This being your first beet experience, it’s going to be very interesting,” the culinary whiz laughed.

She assured me that many a beet-hater, like myself, tasted her famous beet salad and loved it.

“I have a lot of people who only eat roasted beets and they hate them but I’ve converted them to beets with this salad. I may be spoiling you. You may eat them and never want to have beets any other way,” Freitag told me.

And the dish is topped with pistachios, which I love, so maybe I won’t break out in hives after a single beet bite. Fingers crossed!

Freitag began her beet tutorial by chopping off a large beet’s “gnarly bits” (that’s what I would call them, too!) and then peeling it. This is where the blood stained the chopping board — and our hands.

With bright red palms, Freitag assembled two mandolin slicers — a giant, industrial-grade one and another imprinted with “watch your fingers.” Oh, this is going to be fun.

Freitag easily grated the beet over the larger mandolin. When it was my turn, the sucker didn’t move! It was like slamming my fist into a brick wall and expecting the structure to crumble. I’m strong but I’m not Supergirl!

I was confident that I could successfully perform the next step of spreading mascarpone cheese on a plate. However, I quickly learned that my confidence was unjustified because I couldn’t flick the creamy cheese off the spoon! Applying more force, the cheese sailed through the air and landed on the pristine stainless steel countertop lining The Harrison’s kitchen. Oops.

Amused by my culinary ineptness, Freitag grabbed a spoon and attempted to mold my cheesy mess into a circle. “We’ll leave yours a little rustic,” she joked.

From there we combined the julienned beets in a mixing bowl with pistachio chips and watercress. With a pinch of salt and a drizzle of Freitag’s homemade vinaigrette, we formed the ingredients into a ball and placed them on top of the cheese. That I didn’t screw up.  

Verdict: Who knew beets could be so good? Not this broccoli lover. Freitag’s recipe is clever, inventive and, above all, tasty! The creaminess of the rich cheese is a perfect compliment to the crispy, crunchy beets. With the vinaigrette, pistachios and watercress, the salad is a wonderfully refreshing dish that could transform any beet avoider into a beet devotee.

But Brussels sprouts are still gross.

Next week, prepare for the final entry in “The Iron Klutz” trilogy as I tango with Seamus Mullen, executive chef of Boqueria! 

“The Next Iron Chef” airs on Sundays at 9 p.m. on the Food Network.

Kitchen Klutz follows 20-something Michèle De Meglio as she burns casseroles and her fingers, all in hope of trading frozen dinners for home cooking.


Beet Salad with Crushed Pistachios and Robiolina
(Courtesy Amanda Freitag)

Ingredients
Beet Vinaigrette:
1 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup sugar
1 small beet, peeled and cut large dice
3 shallots, sliced
2 cups extra-virgin olive oil
Pinch salt
1/4 teaspoon cracked black pepper
2 cups julienned beets
1 cup Robiolina cheese
1 bunch watercress
1/2 cup pistachios, toasted and chopped

Directions
For Beet Vinaigrette:
Bring vinegar, sugar, beet and shallots to a boil and simmer until the sugar melts (about 1 minute). Remove from the heat and add olive oil, season with salt and cracked pepper.

For Salad:
Toss beets with the vinaigrette along with salt and pepper to taste. Let sit while you prepare the plates. Spread a circle of cheese onto the center of each plate with the back of a spoon. Add watercress and pistachios to the beets and place on top of the circle of cheese. Once each salad is plated, finish by drizzling vinaigrette around the perimeter of the plate and sprinkle each salad with toasted pistachios. Serves four.

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Kitchen Klutz: Meet 'The Iron Klutz'

Photos by Ted Levin

By Michèle De Meglio

Where’s the last place you’d expect to find the Kitchen Klutz? Manning the stove in a Michelin-starred restaurant’s kitchen, you say? Well, guess what? That’s where I am!

Chef Brad Farmerie, star of the Food Network’s “The Next Iron Chef,” welcomed me to PUBLIC restaurant in Manhattan for a one-on-one cooking lesson. Do you see a train wreck coming?

Farmerie’s place was the first stop on my multipart “The Iron Klutz” tour. Yes folks, I’ll be training with “The Next Iron Chef” team for the next few weeks.

Over at PUBLIC, a smiling Farmerie donned a crisp chef’s jacket and grass green clogs and prepared to teach me how to make Turkish Eggs. The poached eggs dish is a favorite on PUBLIC’s brunch menu, which Timeout New York labeled the “best brunch in New York City.”

Oh boy. I’m supposed to cook an award-winning dish? I don’t even know what a poached egg looks like!

Although I was completely out of my element (but seriously, what cooking element do I have?), I put on a brave face, ignored the butterflies in my tummy and did what I was told.

Unfortunately, I didn’t do it right.

In an amazing display of culinary prowess, Farmerie needed just one hit to crack an egg on the side of a large pot filled with boiling water. Even more amazingly, his hands nearly touched the hot-hot-hot water as he dropped the egg in. Am I supposed to do that?! Uh, apparently yes.

I cracked an egg on the side of the pot just like Farmerie did (add about five extra cracks), then held it several inches from the boiling water.

“Lower, lower, lower,” Farmerie advised.

“But it’s hot,” I protested.

Mr. Master Chef didn’t give up. “Low. Low,” he ordered.

I whined silently while inching the egg closer to the pot. It fell in and water shot out and scalded my hand. “Ow, it splashed me!” I squealed.

After a couple of minutes swirling in the pot, Farmerie’s excellent eggs floated to the top like a couple of proverbial fluffy white clouds. But my bad boys (and I do mean bad) were hard yellow yolks that settled like rocks at the bottom of the pot. They looked like eyeballs. Really ugly eyeballs.

It seems the fate of my eggs was predestined. Before we got started, Farmerie explained that if the egg is not dropped in the pot just right, “you get something that looks like a flat fried egg.”

“It’s lame, it’s lame,” he said. “You don’t want to be lame in your brunch preparation. You want to be kind of cool.”

And there you have it. I am lame.

Verdict: My eyeball eggs would be great for Halloween but Farmerie’s perfectly poached eggs are a hit at any Sunday brunch.

Placed in a bed of Greek yogurt and topped with a buttery sauce (he made it, not me) and sun-dried chili flakes from Sahadi’s on Atlantic Avenue, the eggs are egg-a-riffic! Here’s how Farmerie said to eat ‘em — use a spoon to break the eggs open, then scoop up the gooey insides with a thick slice of grilled sourdough bread and enjoy this savory sensation.

I followed these instructions perfectly! After dribbling a bit of egg on my jeans that is. But that’s why they made Shout!

Check back next week to see if I falter or flourish under the tutelage of Chef Amanda Freitag of The Harrison in the second installment of “The Iron Klutz!”

“The Next Iron Chef” airs on Sundays at 9 p.m. on the Food Network.

Kitchen Klutz follows 20-something Michèle De Meglio as she burns casseroles and her fingers, all in hope of trading frozen dinners for home cooking.

(Left: Farmerie's eggs. Right: Klutz's eggs)

Turkish Eggs

(Courtesy Brad Farmerie)

Ingredients

1 cup full fat Greek yogurt

2 tablespoons finely chopped chives

2 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

8 organic eggs

2 ounces butter (1/2 a stick)

1 tablespoon chili flakes

Directions

Place the yogurt, olive oil and chives in a mixing bowl and stir together. Put an equal amount of yogurt in the bottom of four bowls, making a slight indention in the middle for the eggs to sit. Leave at room temperature until needed.

Place the butter in a small pot and melt over medium heat. Stir the butter constantly and when the butter turns a light golden brown color add the chili flakes. Set the pot aside.

Place a pot of water on high heat to poach the eggs (the deeper the pot the better the shape on the eggs). Add 2 tablespoons white vinegar for every ½ gallon of water in the pot (this will help to cook the eggs and give them a better shape).

When the water is up to a boil, stir a slotted spoon around the edge of the pot to create a small whirlpool. Quickly crack the eggs one by one and dump the egg into the middle of the pot.

Reduce the pot to a simmer (with bubbles still coming up in the water) and cook the eggs for about 3 minutes until they are firm but give a bit (this will give a runny yolk).

With a slotted spoon, remove the eggs, allowing the excess water to drain from each egg. Put two poached eggs on top of the yogurt in each bowl.

Pour chili butter over the eggs and serve with plenty of toast to sop up the delicious goodness. Serves 4.

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